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The Goals of Marriage Mediation

Gene Kirzhner Dec. 10, 2017

If you are having marital troubles, then there are a few resources where you can turn to for help. One of those resources is marriage mediation. Through marriage mediation, you might be able to find peace in your marriage. Learn all about the goals of the process and what mediation can do for your relationship.

The Main Goals of The Process

If you decide to undergo marriage mediation, you might not know what to expect. To better prepare you, here are a few goals of the process:

  1. Learn where your troubles lie

During your marriage mediation, a mediator observes you and your partner. As he does, he learns about your areas of weakness. However, he does not look at your weaknesses as an individual or even as a couple. Instead, he looks at your weaknesses regarding conflict resolution. By observing your behavior, he can learn how you and your partner communicate. Then he can determine what is causing your relationship to fail. When he achieves that goal, he can move on to helping you fix your weaknesses.

  1. Limit your negative interactions

Any negative interactions in your marriage cause stress on you and your partner. By limiting those interactions, you can improve your marriage. During your marriage mediation, a mediator can tell you how to limit negative interactions. After you learn those techniques, you can use them to fight less and have a healthier relationship.

  1. Resolve any ongoing disputes

You can’t get over a dispute without coming to some type of resolution. Fortunately, marriage mediation can help you do that. Some issues might be too challenging for you and your partner to overcome alone. If that is the case, then a mediator can help. He can work with you to find a solution to your disagreements. Then, you can put those disputes behind you for good. With no more ongoing disputes, your marriage can flourish.

  1. Improve dispute resolution skills

The most important goal of marriage mediation is dispute resolution. In your marriage, there are bound to be disputes. Every marriage is full of disputes. While some of those disagreements are small, others are large. No matter the size of your disputes, you need to be able to get over them. However, some couples have a hard time doing that. Even small disagreements turn into major issues. For a successful marriage, you need to know how to be productive when it comes to handling disputes.

Some couples need help learning how to handle disagreements. If that’s the case with your relationship, then mediation can help. Your mediator can help you come up with a way to resolve your disputes. With the help of mediation techniques, you and your partner can be more productive when you disagree. Instead of leading to a fight, a disagreement can end without arguing.

  1. Handle financial disputes

Often, marriages suffer because of financial disputes. In more mature marriages, finances are usually the root of the problem. A marriage mediator knows how to handle financial troubles. Because most marriage mediators also mediate divorce, they have experience resolving financial disagreements. Your mediator can bring an end to any financial disputes that you and your partner may find troubling.

What Are the Differences Between Marriage Mediation and Counseling?

Although both processes can help your marriage, mediation and counseling are two different processes. Sometimes, couples go to both mediation and counseling. This can be very useful and can result in a healthy and successful relationship. Nevertheless, they have a few key differences:

  1. Some couples are more willing to go to mediation than counseling

There is a certain stigma attached to counseling. If your marriage is in trouble, then you might have a hard time getting your partner to attend counseling. However, you might have more luck getting him to attend mediation. With less of a stigma attached to the word, mediation is a good option for those who don’t want to see a therapist.

  1. The third-party’s credentials

During a counseling session, a professional with training in mental health usually runs the session. Often, the professional diagnoses a personal and relationship problem. Then, she uses therapy and treatment to address the problem.

A mediation session is done by someone with experience in conflict resolution. Often, he has experience in divorce mediation.

  1. Mediation is about solving problems

A counselor in a counseling session turns to your personality and your past to understand your relationship troubles. Instead of focusing on behavior, a mediator focuses on how you handle arguments. To treat your problems, he teaches you conflict resolution skills. Additionally, he might help you solve some of your ongoing problems.

Counseling does not teach you how to solve your arguments. Rather, it explores the root of your problems and helps you see your issues from another point of view. Although they use two separate techniques, both work towards the same goal.