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The Social Media Pitfalls During a Divorce

Gene Kirzhner Aug. 17, 2017

Going through a divorce can be very hard. The process alone can be stressful. There are also financial and emotional factors to consider. This is a time most people turn to friends and family for support, be careful how you do and what you say. Social Media can affect your divorce and its outcome.

Don’t Make the Case Against Yourself

Social media can be used against you in your divorce. They will already work on a case against you, but you don’t want to make their job any easier than it has to be. Anything you post is your voice in writing. You want to watch what you say or post on social media, keep it to a minimum. Nothing is ever really deleted from the internet.

Establish Boundaries

It’s a good idea to sit and talk about the boundaries in your divorce. Keeping everything smooth will be a little easier if you know when you can tell friends and family, when you can move on and what other lines you shouldn’t cross. The dissolution of your marriage is a process, and you want to make sure that you are aware of what you can or can’t say. This will help keep you out of quite a few heated discussions.

Mind Your Own Business

Being curious about what your ex is up to is very common. But, you want to avoid that. And if you can’t, you don’t want to post anything about them. Not only is this a dead giveaway of your spying, but it also says more about you than it does them. And if that shows up in your divorce proceedings, it can work against you. It is better to keep to yourself. This will make it easier to avoid retaliation for anything they might say or do. Remember that your marriage is going through dissolution. Their activities or statements aren’t your concern, anymore. The last thing you want is for them to bait you into saying something awful and you falling for it. It will come at a high cost.

Don’t Rub Their Nose in It

Going on and on about how wonderful your life is without your ex may feel like you’re showing them who’s boss and that you don’t need them. But, it isn’t. If they didn’t mean anything to you, there wouldn’t be any reason to show them that. You wouldn’t even think about them. Just live your life and try to get past what you’re going through. It is normal to feel upset after a divorce and need some time. Take that time and focus on yourself, not showing everyone how fantastic everything is.

Don’t Say Too Much

The only people who need to know how you’re doing or what you’re going through is your support system. Friends and family are what you need, right now. Don’t vent on social media about your ex or what you’re going through. These are things that will surely find their way to your ex’s lawyer. And you don’t want a judge to have to hear them. If you have to, talk to your attorney. They can tell you what not to say.

Don’t Make Friends Choose

Sharing friends with your ex-spouse doesn’t have to be a problem. If you want to let go of friends that don’t mean anything to you, that isn’t so bad. But, if you have friends you want to keep, don’t make them choose. It isn’t fair to make them pick sides, and they might not like you even asking. It will make you look bad and even worse if you post it on social media.

Don’t Send Messages Directly

Sometimes messaging directly can seem private. But, it isn’t. Don’t say anything on a messenger that you wouldn’t want to be heard in a court or amongst family and friends. You are having a conversation that produces a transcript. And that can be used against you. If the person isn’t someone you see, they shouldn’t hear about your divorce and its details. If they are, you should invite them to lunch or dinner. Not only would it be a way for you to have some fun, but it would help you to speak to an actual person about what you’re going through.

You want to try to keep away from social media as much as possible. Bad mouthing your ex can affect the outcome of your divorce. You may say something you will regret later. And it will cost you, perhaps literally. Watch what you say and who you talk to, you never know what can happen on the way to a divorce. Especially if things start to get messy. Just focus on getting through this tough time and being happy. Once this is all over, you’ll need time to heal. But, you still want to keep it civil. You may not be heading to an official court, but you’ll still be in the court of public opinion. Here is an article with more advice.